September 2022

Past Months: April 2022May 2022June 2022July 2022August 2022
By Kevin Ahern
In the Middle
Junk food additives
Enhance the taste
And also give you
Toxic Waist

Bottoms Up
When plants have
Happy Hours here
They sit around
And drink root beer
Thursday, Sept. 1, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Big Bang
Demolition experts
I should mention
Have a blast
At their conventions

Bridging the Gap
Here’s a message
Full of truth
Dentures are
Substitooths
Friday, Sept. 2, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
On the Run
A hacker escaped
From police today
The rumor was
He went data way 

Spectrum Disorder
When it comes to diet
They’re great big cheaters
Black holes’ thin-ness
Comes from being light eaters
Saturday, Sept. 3, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Feathered Filler
When my breakfast I gave
To two wrens at home
I filled two birds
With one scone

Life Lesson
I think a library
Is a place that’s prime
It’s where shhhh happens
All the time
Monday, Sept. 5, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Random Tweet
Birds are better than us
I guess
At pursuing life, liberty
And happy nests

Bottoms Up
A cheer was shouted
At the tavern door
“One tequila, two tequila”
“Three tequila, floor”
Tuesday, Sept. 6, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Hard Driver
My computer ignorance
Takes its toll
When I can’t Esc
I lose Ctrl

No Yolk
Single chicks
In the pen
Are madder than
A wed hen
Wednesday, Sept. 7, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Horse Sense
The riding academy should listen
And avoid the urge to scoff
Cuz they’re gonna need a lawyer
If their business is falling off

Reincarbonation
My buddy got a job at Coke
He really is a whiz
They hired him very quickly
When he aced their pop quiz
Thursday, Sept. 8, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Paper or Plastic?
A paper bag
Said to his wife
“I’m glad we have”
“A good sacks life”

Stuck Up
Here’s plant advice
I’m glad to share
Two cacti make
A prickly pair
Friday, Sept. 9, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Devil Food
The worst dessert
That you can bake
Is what is known as
A stomach cake

Irrational Exuberance
The Pi Piper is
One of my friends
I love his music
It never ends
Saturday, Sept. 10, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Meow Mix
It’s apt their name
Comes from their potty
Those snobby cats
Called litterati

Meltdown
It was a grill
The doll fell to
So it got cooked
A Barbie Q
Monday, Sept. 12, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Box Not Included
The mattress store
Never fail
Is having another
Spring sale

Plugged In
Electric cars
Really rock
Each with its own
Sticker shock
Tuesday, Sept. 13, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Happy Yapping
A puppy howling
To a vet appears
The Hound of Music
To her ears

Weak Daze
A hypnotist
On each occasion
Leads someone in
A trance formation
Wednesday, Sept. 14, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Bail Doubt
The hackers escaped from
The police over there
I think it’s because
They ransomware

Talk Show
I’m telling you
With much conviction
For some folks talking
Is a diction
Thursday, Sept. 15, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Sheepish
Christmas sweaters
I love them scads
Though I think we should call them
Fleece Navidads

Making a Splash
The toppermost dolphin
Of all dolphin groups
Is well aware getting there
Means jumping through hoops
Friday, Sept. 16, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Give a Dime
Take it from
The old guy, Devin
Change in the air
Means pennies from heaven

Extra Crunchy
Octopuses
Crave a dish
Of peanut butter
And jellyfish
Saturday, Sept. 17, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Null Set
A lesson I taught
To the Domino’s guy
Is that nothing can top
A plain pizza pie

Scrambled Plans
I can’t retire
I said to Peg
Because somebody
Poached my nest egg
Monday, Sept. 19, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
“It’s Not Unusual”
When you
Misspell weird
It is
Wierd

“And Don’t Come Back”
The door closing contest
In Amsterdam
Concludes today
With the grand slam
Tuesday, Sept. 20, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Current Events
If you shock me once
Expect a good scolding
Shock me twice?
Revolting

A Real Cut Up
Tailors make
A lot of dough
Simply reaping
What they sew
Wednesday, Sept. 21, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Uplifting
When the short dishwasher
Started work, oh boy
It was said she’d often
Jump for Joy

Eating Right
Gluten avoiders
As a troupe
Are a large
Wheat watchers group
Thursday, Sept. 22, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
PSL Not So Well
Autumn is the time of year
For breaking out one’s sweaters
But if friends obsess with pumpkin spice
Send them season desist letters

Autumn’s Up
I’m making Halloween egg nog
It only takes a minute
Just like the stuff at Christmas, but
It has more boos in it
Friday, Sept. 23, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Birth of a Notion
Between women and me
I have to believe
The difference is one
I cannot conceive

Blind Sided
I really seem to be
In an awful bind
I need good Hide and Seek players
But they’re very hard to find
Monday, Sept. 26, 2022