By Kevin Ahern
A ballet dancer
Light as a feather
Knows very well how
To put tu and tu together

Making dinner last night
I erred again
The meat was too frozen
Not a well thawed out plan
Wednesday, April 6, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
I make mistakes in my writing
And often hedge
Which always keeps me
On eraser’s hedge

The emergency room doctor
Who fixed my wrist
Is such a great
On-call-ogist
Thursday, April 7, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
For food at the T. Rex cafe
Don’t just go in and demand it
Because they always are
Very shorthanded

That fly fishing program
Is worthy of praising
Because, they say
The cast is amazing
Friday, April 8, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
I ate at a porcupine restaurant
Completely got my fill
But when it came time to leave
I got stuck with the bill

That butterfly sitting
Upon the cloth
Is just another
Urban moth
Saturday, April 9, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
I studied Chinese philosophy
Twas as complex as it could be
In fact, I’d say that overall
It Confucius me

For telekinesis
What amounts
Is not what you do
But the thought that counts 
Sunday, April 10, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
The worm is a hermaphrodite
A fact that’s quite well known
Which means that it can fall in love
With an end that is its own

A bathing suit
For veggies teeny
Should be called
A zucchini
Monday, April 11, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
When I went to my dermatologist
A strange exchange did occur
She looked at me and declared aloud,
“You’re a site for psoriasis, sir”

Cobblers have
A special role
Cuz they will heel you
And save your sole
Tuesday, April 12, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
A Siamese race
Just passed me by
Rumor is that
It ended in a Thai

Rock, paper, scissors
I said to him
Is as hard to lose at
As it is to win
Wednesday, April 13, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Dessert Hurt
I ate dessert, but shouldn’t have
And now I lie awake
I guess I should have known because
It was a stomach cake

Membership In Creasing
Origami Societies
I am told
Happily welcome you
Into the fold
Thursday, April 14, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Indoor Fins
I took my date to a fish restaurant
And did it with good reasoning
Cuz I wanted both of us to have
Salmon chanted evening

Out Yawnder
That compulsive talker
Makes me yawn
He needs OAA -
On Anon Anon
Friday, April 15, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Drinking Problem
I love my bottled water
So rich and metabolic
My friend said to be careful
Or I’ll be aquaholic

STD
From sex, I caught
A cold like this
And now I’ve got
Snyffilis
Saturday, April 16, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Spinal Tap
The chiropractor
Likes to say
That she is owed
A lot of back pay

Run Down
Slum lords, wow
How do they sleep?
Making premises
They can’t keep
Sunday, April 17, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Sound of Music
They say I’m a paranoid composer
For whom notes are much more than the key
Cuz I think they’re all talking behind my back
On the other hand, it could be just mi

High Tax Bracket
A marijuana grower
Reports what he earns
By the filing of
Joint tax returns
Monday, April 18, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Space Case
As an astronaut he wasn’t good
And everyone knew ’twas the case
When he was at the space station
All he did was take up space

Doing Business
On the toilet my cat
Is strange for sure
That’s where he reads
His litterature
Tuesday, April 19, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Mixer Drinks
Whiskey sure helps
Folks to mingle
Cuz after a double
They feel single

Snow Big Deal
Inuits really
Are great party makers
Perhaps it’s cuz
They’re good icebreakers
Wednesday, April 20, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Falling Down
At the bee
I didn’t do well
With “D-I-Z-I-E”
I had a bad dizzy spell

Hard Lesson
The driveway gave me
Some gestault
When I skinned a knee
My dumb asphalt
Thursday, April 21, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Fossil Fool
I went to an antique auction
A depressing thing to see
Because I soon discovered
People were bidding on me

Flea Caller
At that flea circus
You should know
A dog went out
And stole the show
Friday, April 22, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Sliced Up
Something that
I wonder about tons
Why “halve a nice day”
Instead of the rotten ones?

Well Grounded
At my new bills
I have to gawk
Cuz water and electric
Give me a shock
Saturday, April 23, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Armed and Not Dangerous
They say that he’s
A non-violent activist
But he didn’t strike me
As a pacifist

Net Gain
Those Aussie folks
Are computer wonders
Because they’re from 
A LAN down under
Sunday, April 24, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Cutting Remark
According to 
The official Roman version
The emperor’s doctor
Was a Nero surgeon

Groovy
When LPs die
It is the case
They go to their vinyl
Resting place
Tuesday, April 26, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Prime Time
Only at night
After curtains are drawn
Does Jeff Bezos put
His pajamazon

No Beef About It
When Porky Pig
Mysteriously died
The sheriff called it
Hamicide
Wednesday, April 27, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Better Half
He’d really like to be a wit
But feels a great despair
Despite the best of efforts
He's only halfway there

Last Gasp
The view in space
There is no faking
With helmet off
It’s quite breathtaking
Thursday, April 28, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Yeast of Their Concerns
When customers ask for the bread recipe
You ought to see their faces
When the baker tells them it’s classified
On a kneed the dough basis

Slam Dunk
For basketballers
Here’s the poop
When you give up
You lose all hoop
Friday, April 29, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Next Day Service
Casting demons out of packages
Is a hero you may have missed
And yes, right here I’m speaking of
The FedExorcist

Recycle Bind
Here’s some advice
Please repeat it
Junk’s what you throw away
Just before you need it
Saturday, April 30, 2022