By Kevin Ahern
ONE PERSON'S TREASURE
That antique bust
From someone dead
Is simply junk
With a price on its head
— Saturday, Nov. 1, 2025
By Kevin Ahern
ILL EFFECTS
There’s money in treating sickness
And it’s important for financial affairs
Yesterday’s health care investors
Have become today’s illionaires
— Tuesday, Nov. 4, 2025
By Kevin Ahern
FAIR ENOUGH
You can’t choose your ancestors
That much is true
But it all equals out
They didn’t choose you
— Wednesday, Nov. 5, 2025
By Kevin Ahern
SCALED UP
To stock his pond
He couldn’t wait
The fisherman finally had
Reel estate
— Thursday, Nov. 6, 2025
By Kevin Ahern
A PEELING
“An apple a day keeps the doctor away”
My grandmother said for the sniffs
But I have to wonder if it’s just that way
Or another of granny’s myths
— Friday, Nov. 7, 2025
By Kevin Ahern
AND A TWO
Two rules for ultimate success in life
Remember these as you go
The first one is that you should never
Tell everything you know
— Saturday, Nov. 8, 2025
By Kevin Ahern
NO ISSUES
When they needed tree surgeons badly
Fortunately, there was not a panic
Because on the internet they found
A business called Poplar Mechanics
— Tuesday, Nov. 11, 2025
By Kevin Ahern
TIC TACKY
Getting fresh breath is expensive
But let me give you a hint
I know about this from experience
Because it cost me a mint
— Wednesday, Nov. 12, 2025
By Kevin Ahern
DRIVER STRAINING
I taught my kid to be polite
And courteous in every way
But now he’s got a big problem
Unable to drive on the freeway
— Thursday, Nov. 13, 2025
By Kevin Ahern
SEW IT UP
That seamstress’s jokes
Are borderline ethereal
And never seem to end
She’s got plenty of material
— Friday, Nov. 14, 2025
By Kevin Ahern
SPILLED MILK
I made a mess today
And started to cry
After opening a can of evaporated milk
That wasn’t dry
— Saturday, Nov. 15, 2025
By Kevin Ahern
NOT A DRIP
That plumber might seem quite boring
But isn’t, in reality
Thanks to his possessing
A multi-fauceted personality
— Tuesday, Nov. 18, 2025
By Kevin Ahern
UNLUCKY NUMBER
If marriage is a lottery
On which you can bet
Then alimony surely
Is a gambling debt
— Wednesday, Nov. 19, 2025
By Kevin Ahern
SPAGHETTI OH NOS
Life is a bowl of spaghetti noodles
Swimming in some sauce
Sometimes you’re the meatball
Sometimes you’re the boss
— Thursday, Nov. 20, 2025
By Kevin Ahern
iPAID FOR THAT
Tablets were replaced by scrolls
Scrolls were supplanted by books
So isn’t it ironic today that we
Scroll on tablets to read books?
— Friday, Nov. 21, 2025
By Kevin Ahern
MONEY MATTERS
Debt is really an awful thing
No wonder people begrudge it
Some claim it will not leave you
Unless you budge it
— Saturday, Nov. 22, 2025
By Kevin Ahern
SIGHS, TWELVE
When it comes to claims from braggers
I certainly have my doubts
Because they’re always putting
Their feats inside their mouths
— Tuesday, Nov. 25, 2025
By Kevin Ahern
FIDON'T
A lady tugs upon a leash
But there was no dog on it
Because it got away
Doggonit
— Wednesday, Nov. 26, 2025
By Kevin Ahern
TO BE OR NOUGHT
In the Philosophy Department
If you’re an Internet guy
You must make connection
Through their Why Fi
— Thursday, Nov. 27, 2025
By Kevin Ahern
PURPLE REIGN
Downgrading his sib
With a wince
King Charles declared him Andrew,
The brother formerly known as Prince