By Kevin Ahern
Mess Piggy The pig in the pen who’s so mature Just seems to be the wisest I think it’s likely he’ll endure When he has a mud life crisis Internot The one who runs my email service Said I need to tweak The password that I picked - ‘fortnight’ Because it is two week
— Monday, Aug. 1, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Ego Media I think the two things mean the same So you can take your pick You can call it a device for selfies Or a narcissist stick Over My Dead Body When I got a job in the hair salon They asked me whether I Had something I’d prefer to do I said I’d rather dye
— Tuesday, Aug. 2, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Here Come Da Judge The brand new lawyer’s Really glad With a new apartment - A legal pad Aloha Ha In Hawaii, I hear When tourism’s off It always means Many lei-offs
— Wednesday, Aug. 3, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Trusty Rusty The Oz’s tin man is no more And survivors have a plan The first thing they are gonna do Is notify his next of can Fabreze I wrote a verse about the wind To see it, you must wait Cuz at the moment now it is Only in a draft state
— Sunday, Aug. 7, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Root of the Problem That nursery guy Has one big frown He got caught With his plants down Wait and See A busser sometimes Finds work rocky That’s how it is With dish jockeys
— Monday, Aug. 8, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Wino The priest with the Communion cup Says his business is Always looking up Sum Game “That Fibonacci joke,” The math guy opined, “Is as bad as the last two” “You’ve told, combined”
— Tuesday, Aug. 9, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Barley Able to Handle It The farmer in his field today Was describing aches and pains He said the headaches bothering him Were “mostly my grains” Lighten Up My butane lighter’s stubborn As you can plainly see But that is not a problem It is no match for me
— Wednesday, Aug. 10, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Not Clothed Minded The nudist colony Over there Is in the middle Of no wear Eau, I See The French diner’s food Was in terrible shape So I asked her what She saw in that crepe
— Thursday, Aug. 11, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Cheers Inside my garden It’s plain to see The carrots are all Rooting for me Out Standing in His Field The scarecrow now Has reached his goal Favorable ratings In a straw poll
— Friday, Aug. 12, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Sleepless in Seattle My bed got stolen yesterday I’m unhappy with those men And I assure you I will not Rest until I find them Leaf Me Alone “No virgin forests left in Oregon” Declared the New York Times And what’s the cause of their demise? A bunch of knotty pines
— Saturday, Aug. 13, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Getting Duped My friend was confused What cloning was So to her I said “That makes two of us” Melt Down I shouldn’t have eaten That ice cream course So I now have Breyer’s remorse
— Monday, Aug. 15, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Gin and Toxic That liquor store Down by the river One way or another De-livers Ears To Ya Though they may be Head de-forming Earmuffs promote Lobal Warming
— Tuesday, Aug. 16, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Purrfect My Cuban cat That I like so Comes when I call him “Fidel Catro” Sweeties I make valentines Very smart Every one of them A work of heart
— Wednesday, Aug. 17, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Not Carrot All Foodies note This bit of clarity Vegans unite In saladarity Dry? No Fixing plugs Always seems To give to plumbers Pipe dreams
— Thursday, Aug. 18, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Food Fight That Red Lobster fight Was quite the scare Battered fish Were everywhere See Sickness My sister is A drama queen So her doctor gave her Melodramamine
— Friday, Aug. 19, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
No Bull In the livestock business This is the word Cows stick together To be herd Going Downhill According to what The ski lodge said They want toboggan On the price of your sled
— Saturday, Aug. 20, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Identity Crisis Scientists say It’s best for you To think of clones As people two MC Hammered Enjoying music Means avoiding the worst Treat it like candy Toss the rapper first
— Monday, Aug. 22, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Mow and Mow The local landscaper Is a guy named Jim He’s liked because You get a lawn with him The Illiterati For that girl I liked I should have persisted She used just four vowels Didn’t know I existed
— Tuesday, Aug. 23, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
The One That Got a Weigh The fisherman’s claim “Big as a whale” Means he caught fish By the tale Punching Big The boxing match Began with ease Thanks to opening Fistivities
— Wednesday, Aug. 24, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Kitty Letter Poems by cats Could not be worse Because they all Are just purr verse Duncan Rhymes A good cake mix That most prefer Is one that causes Quite a stir
— Thursday, Aug. 25, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
No Bones A tic-tac-toe board So very fun Is just an ex-oh Skeleton Down Poor Free umbrellas Not a scam Part of a wetness Protection plan
— Friday, Aug. 26, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
No Bull Worried of Mad Cow? Here’s what to avoid Performance enhancement From all those steer-oids Looking Back That broken mirror I say to thee Is not a true Reflection of me
— Sunday, Aug. 28, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Daddy Wrong Legs Arachnophobes Feel greater fright When they observe A big Web site Earring Aid Here’s something that May bring a smile An earring keeps A lobe profile
— Monday, Aug. 29, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Role Plying Cryptocurrency’s Latest caper Is called ButtCoin It hoards toilet paper They’ll Be Covered Two bed bugs Have got this thing They’re getting married In the spring
— Tuesday, Aug. 30, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Up in the Air The paint flinging class Couldn’t be duller But I passed it With flying colors Bubbling Over The bubble gum store Just put in the mail An ad for its latest Blow out sale