By Kevin Ahern
WET HEAD
The hostess of the doggie bash
Was horrified to read
One guest went and party-crashed
And then RSVPeed
— Thursday, October 1, 2026
By Kevin Ahern
IDEALS
Rex found the ideal woman
But there was a prob with his plan
He didn’t stand a chance
She wanted an ideal man
— Friday, October 2, 2026
By Kevin Ahern
STEP ON IT
The decorator seemed to have
A covering paralysis
Then settled on linoleum
In her vinyl analysis
— Saturday, October 3, 2026
By Kevin Ahern
NOTHING BUT THE TOOTH
There’s something odd, for goodness sakes
With one of my relations
To my surprise, her tooth is fake
It came out in conversation
— Tuesday, October 6, 2026
By Kevin Ahern
OHM-LESS
I gave up Eastern religion
And all I can say is ‘wow’
The change I felt was quite complete
When I threw in the Tao
— Wednesday, October 7, 2026
By Kevin Ahern
JABBER WONKY
She could have saved van Gogh
A lot of strife
Talking his ear off
Instead of the knife
— Thursday, October 8, 2026
By Kevin Ahern
LOCKS MYTH
A skill I learned has helped me out
I can say with certainty
Picking locks, without a doubt
Has opened doors for me
— Friday, October 9, 2026
By Kevin Ahern
FOR SAIL
Years ago the Navy women
Before each of their sails
Would pinch themselves for luck
Or is that an old Wave’s tale?
— Saturday, October 10, 2026
By Kevin Ahern
LO-CAL LOCALE
I dropped some sweetener in the yard
My wife won’t let it pass
She said it just reminded her
Of Splenda® in the grass
— Tuesday, October 13, 2026
By Kevin Ahern
FLIP FLOP
I spent my youth pursuing wealth
That’s the truth
But now that I’m old
I spend my wealth pursuing youth
— Tuesday, October 13, 2026
By Kevin Ahern
YOU’RE SO VAIN
I can’t imagine anyone
As vain as my buddy Jim
He went and joined the Navy
So the world could see him
— Thursday, October 15, 2026
By Kevin Ahern
BEST GUESS
At this point in my life,
I’ve reached the stage
Where I want you to underestimate me
When we’re talking weight or age
— Friday, October 16, 2026
By Kevin Ahern
DODGED A BULLET
The bachelor has managed
To avoid another scrape
Cupid almost got him
But he made an arrow escape
— Saturday, October 17, 2026
By Kevin Ahern
ONE FOURTH SIZE
I bought a replica fisherman’s knife
Yesterday on sale
It was a smallish copy
That was made to scale
— Tuesday, October 20, 2026
By Kevin Ahern
SASK WATCHING
If Bigfoot should attack you
Just use some common sense
Remember, a camera always is
Your best line of defense
— Wednesday, October 21, 2026
By Kevin Ahern
PEDAL PUSHER
A psychiatrist pedaling backwards
Abuses bike technology
Perhaps he thinks he’ll get his way
By using reverse cycology
— Thursday, October 22, 2026
By Kevin Ahern
RIGHT ON
Say what you want
Of him being dimwitted
At least when he’s right
He’s the first to admit it
— Friday, October 23, 2026
By Kevin Ahern
STONED
That marbleous statue
Please don’t pan it
All too often
They’re taken for granite
— Saturday, October 24, 2026
By Kevin Ahern
iFORGET
Our local amnesiac
May be trying too hard
“Do I come here often?”
He asked the lady in the bar