By Kevin Ahern
LOST GARDEN
Closing books
Takes a chance
Watering weeds
Of ignorance
— Saturday, August 1, 2026
By Kevin Ahern
STOP SHORT
When a storyteller
Makes you wail
It’s time to go
Cut off his tale
— Tuesday, August 4, 2026
By Kevin Ahern
LUNAR CYCLE
Each time a mermaid
Smiles too wide
You notice that
She gets tongue tide
— Wednesday, August 5, 2026
By Kevin Ahern
LOTS OF COMPETITION
I should have known
That failure beckoned
In a contest for losers
I finished second
— Thursday, August 6, 2026
By Kevin Ahern
ROOM TO LET
A British lady came to visit
And see where I was at
She dissed my wee apartment
So I went and knocked her flat
— Friday, August 7, 2026
By Kevin Ahern
ON THE ONE HAND
The Ambidextrous Society
Is growing every night
Because of all the people
Joining left and right
— Saturday, August 8, 2026
By Kevin Ahern
ALONE AGAIN, NATURALLY
The Antisocial Society
Which started last week
Announced it has
No plans to meet
— Tuesday, August 11, 2026
By Kevin Ahern
NONSENSE OF DIRECTION
The people on a journey
Got lost in a big mishap
They wandered aimlessly until
Atlas, they found a map
— Wednesday, August 12, 2026
By Kevin Ahern
SPAM FILTER
I’m guessing
I haven’t heard from you
Because I got stuck in
Your life’s spam filter
— Thursday, August 13, 2026
By Kevin Ahern
WHAT GOES AROUND ...
My overweight hamster died
And it all makes sense to me now
The vet said it didn’t get enough exercise
It lacked the wheel to live
— Friday, August 14, 2026
By Kevin Ahern
IN SECURITY
For security purposes,
We encrypted our kid’s name
But (oops!) then forgot it
So now we just call him Password
— Saturday, August 15, 2026
By Kevin Ahern
GETTING SENTENCED
To reduce misuse of English
Grammar police at Facebook
Are imposing on offenders
A syntax
— Tuesday, August 18, 2026
By Kevin Ahern
MAKES SCENTS
The Army’s canine corps
Just got busted again
However, in their defense
They were just following odors
— Wednesday, August 19, 2026
By Kevin Ahern
COMING OF AGE
I was surprised to learn
That my cracker’d turned thirteen
But it all makes sense now –
It was a Salteen
— Thursday, August 20, 2026
By Kevin Ahern
SWAPPED
After Mrs. Collins’ handbag was stolen
Her insurance company
Made sure
She was reimpursed
— Friday, August 21, 2026
By Kevin Ahern
NETWORK DIFFICULTIES
Our computer network
Has been thrown asunder
By the new Australian IT guy
Who’s from a LAN down under
— Saturday, August 22, 2026
By Kevin Ahern
NO ROM FOR MORE
I told my computer teacher
That it was just last night
The dog ate all my homework
In just a couple bytes
— Tuesday, August 25, 2026
By Kevin Ahern
STICKY SITUATION
The Scotch factory robber
Did not make a great escape
And so they identified him
By looking at the tape
— Wednesday, August 26, 2026
By Kevin Ahern
TIMBER!
When it comes to lighting fires
Pinocchio has one rule
He doesn’t want to be involved
Cuz he’s nobody’s fuel
— Thursday, August 27, 2026
By Kevin Ahern
HORSE SENSE
The riding academy should listen
And avoid the urge to scoff
Cuz they’re gonna need a lawyer
If their business begins falling off
— Friday, August 28, 2026
By Kevin Ahern
REINCARBONATION
My buddy got a job at Coke
He really is a whiz
They hired him very quickly
After he aced their pop quiz