By Kevin Ahern
Wordsmith The drunk was said to be Increasingly merry Whenever he added to His vodkabulary Lots of Buzz, Though Though the honeycomb film To me was quite groovy The critics complained It was a bee movie
— Sunday, May 1, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
On the Job Religious holidays all the time No science holidays lurking And there is one big reason why Science is always working Mixed Message A conundrum I had When I was a youth Saying, “I’m lying in bed” But telling the truth
— Monday, May 2, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Out on a Limb When a mighty oak got ill It found relief By using a bit of Accumulated sick leaf Operating System To drive them You’ll need a log-in Electric cars Known as Voltswagons
— Tuesday, May 3, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Par for the Curse To be dating a golfer Many have found Isn’t always easy Cuz they like to play a round For Cold Knights A corduroy condom That fits like a glove Provides users with A groovy kind of love
— Wednesday, May 4, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
KG BS On the top of the things Worthy of condemnin’ Vladimir Putin Is the crumb de la Kremlin Getting Soaked The scuba diver To water marches Paying expensive Depth charges
— Thursday, May 5, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Sigh in the Saddle I’d really like to ride a horse But think that I should mention It probably won’t happen Due to the mounting tension All Fired Up An arsonist knows He’ll have to pay If he commits Crime brûlée
— Friday, May 6, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Sleepless in the Saddle I have trouble sleeping No way to ignore it When I started a support group Everyone was up for it Name Game If it’s true that people From Poland are Poles Does it follow that people From Holland are Holes?
— Saturday, May 7, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Going to Prism I think I got this Just about right The heaviest rainbow Is still pretty light Travel Agent The vacationing jogger Who traveled to Rome Is certainly running Away from home
— Sunday, May 8, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Missing Book I ordered a book months ago And I'm feeling quite deprived It’s called “How to Scam People Online” But it still has not arrived Scrambled Logic Evil chickens Are the dregs I hear they lay Deviled eggs
— Monday, May 9, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Math Users A lot of people heard the buzz That Romans way back when Found algebra quite easy cuz X always equaled ten Reflexive My hands act quickly to respond Such versatility But with reflexes always come Great response ability
— Tuesday, May 10, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Pinch an Inch? The fat farm has a name I love Assigned it by its makers If you are interested in going Just look up “Belly Acres” Feathered Fiend My chicken died and came back as A spook - it wasn’t nice But ask yourself, whoever has A personal poultrygeist?
— Wednesday, May 11, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Foot Where? The subject of geography Is one that I despise For example, I thought Tripoli Was just a wide shoe size On the Level Flat Earthers they are quite unsound I think most are insane The only way they get around Is travel on a plane
— Friday, May 13, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Doggone My little Pomeranian Just made a mistake now, dammit It went and looked Medusa in the eyes And became a pomegranate New Name and a Dress That single lady planned, I’d say Down to the last detail The matter of her wedding day She wants to know a veil
— Saturday, May 14, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Supernatural The clerks at Barnes and Noble Don’t know what to do with themselves Cuz the brand new book on poltergeists Is flying off the shelves To the Letter It’s said that Stalin had success Because of his decision To write in lower case because He hated capitalism
— Sunday, May 15, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Conundrum I admitted to my puzzlement And made it known to him With just this simple question WTF is an acronym? Blowing In A cloud found out it couldn’t make A storm, so it felt very blue But then made up its mind that it Would have to just make dew
— Monday, May 16, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Classical Dilemma That Bach musician talked of woe Hoping it would provoke A donation of a bit of dough Because he was baroque Boogie Man A snowman in the grocery store To the carrot section goes And makes a scene each time because It’s where he picks his nose
— Tuesday, May 17, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Prose Pros I went to visit my poet friend My writing skills to hone And she told me to sit right down And make myself a tome No Sugar, Please When coffee additives duked it out The lawsuit was a screamer Legal experts refer to it As creamer versus creamer
— Thursday, May 19, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Battle of the Bulged Overweight Americans Give them their due Waving the flag Red, wide, and blue Getting the Shaft When the elevator crashed Some people cried It was the day The Muzak died
— Friday, May 20, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Tropic Topic When Cuba’s first To space was shot Havana had A Castronaut Stop Short When a storyteller Makes you wail It’s time to go Cut off his tale
— Sunday, May 22, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Baa Joke Little Bo Peep lost her sheep But now is quite excited Because it seems the lady has With them been reewenited Heck of a Deal Panama’s canal Is truly great A very massive Inside strait
— Monday, May 23, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Error Prone My friend’s a typochondriac That’s bad, for goodness sake Because it means that she’s afraid Of making a mistake Hello Dali Painter Dali Ate flakes with zeal Because he really Liked surreal
— Tuesday, May 24, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Think Nothing of It If you’ve got a complaint about lazy folks I recommend you conserve it Because it’s true that none of them Did anything to deserve it Burn Baby Burn He decided to get cremated The choice is real, not rash He liked thinking about the people who Would one day kiss his ash
— Thursday, May 26, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
“Gee” Ometry He said he wanted to be edgy And be noticed for all his spangles I simply had one word for him “Triangles” Head Lines My head is really killing me It is a horrible feeling I think it must have been last night’s Dance upon the ceiling And the fall
— Friday, May 27, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Bombing It Losing one’s temper Is bad, you know Kick an ICBM Get missile toe Bold Statement I heard it from A Rome smart alec The Pisa Tower leans Because it’s italic
— Sunday, May 29, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Sick, Sick, Sick My friend the hypochondriac At Christmas gets a sting Cuz nobody ever buys her gifts Since she has everything Neurotic My neurologist friend gets on my nerves And the last time it occurred I looked at him and said out loud “Axons speak louder than words”