By Kevin Ahern
NO JUVEN AISLES
I restructured my shoe business
To improve our balance sheet
Our plan was controversial
And it was no small feet
— Wednesday, April 1, 2026
By Kevin Ahern
NUMBER ONE GOAL
The potty training effort
For those parents now is done
So they have written a helpful book
Called “How the Wets Was Won”
— Thursday, April 2, 2026
By Kevin Ahern
HOPPY HOUR
There’s joy in hops
When they’re on sale
To learn of beer
Is to know of ale
— Friday, April 3, 2026
By Kevin Ahern
SHORT STOPS
Little Leaguers
At the platter
Each of them
A peanut batter
— Saturday, April 4, 2026
By Kevin Ahern
FROM BAD TO VERSE
The dessert is bad
Can you not see?
It’s really very
Off-pudding to me
— Tuesday, April 7, 2026
By Kevin Ahern
GET ITS RIGHT
“Its” or “it’s”?
Easy to see:
Possession is
Apostrofree
— Wednesday, April 8, 2026
By Kevin Ahern
OLD GOALED
Retirement’s when
You gotta believe
People take
Maturity leave
— Thursday, April 9, 2026
By Kevin Ahern
NOT STRAIGHTFORWARD
The chicken crossed the road
But the crab simply balked
Not following, though
It took the sidewalk
— Friday, April 10, 2026
By Kevin Ahern
HOW TO
For weaving a basket
You’ll be needing
A few tools
And a lot of reeding
— Saturday, April 11, 2026
By Kevin Ahern
SIMPLE GESTURE
My wife left me for someone deaf
I’m drowning in remorse
I should have noticed
The signs, of course
— Tuesday, April 14, 2026
By Kevin Ahern
BYPASS OPERATION
It’s not clear to me
Now that I’ve done it
How I got over the hill
But missed the summit
— Wednesday, April 15, 2026
By Kevin Ahern
MOVING SALE
I went into a store
To see what they’ve got
A sign said “We’re Moving!”
I looked out and said, “No you’re not.”
— Thursday, April 16, 2026
By Kevin Ahern
ROCK OF RAGES
Becoming this old isn’t easy
Despite how simple it appears
It requires an abundance
Of blood, sweat and years
— Friday, April 17, 2026
By Kevin Ahern
SECRET TO LIFE
I found the secret to life
It’s certainly worth a try
Odd that more don’t know it —
Don’t die
— Saturday, April 18, 2026
By Kevin Ahern
IMPOSER SYNDROME
An unwelcome guest
Has taken over my home
I really hate dealing with
Imposer syndrome
— Tuesday, April 21, 2026
By Kevin Ahern
STARVING ARTIST
Art is selling something
You made out of nothing
Nothing is what you get
When no one buys your something
— Wednesday, April 22, 2026
By Kevin Ahern
BY NARY
The computer chip
Is getting soft
Making errors
A wee bit off
— Thursday, April 23, 2026
By Kevin Ahern
NORWAY MAN
That Oslo guy
Sure did complain
His ankle svelte up
From a sprain
— Friday, April 24, 2026
By Kevin Ahern
MESS HALL
My coffee table
Looks like an ocean
From a drink I spilled
In one fluid motion
— Saturday, April 25, 2026
By Kevin Ahern
OUT WEST
A group of singers from our town
Is known in this locale
As being very average
They’re our OK Chorale
— Tuesday, April 28, 2026
By Kevin Ahern
COLD SHOULDER
The snowman they call Frosty
Is grinning with delight
Because he met a snowgirl
It was love at frostbite
— Wednesday, April 29, 2026
By Kevin Ahern
STEP ON IT
The decorator seemed to have
A covering paralysis
Then settled on linoleum
In her vinyl analysis