By Kevin Ahern
THIS SITE USES COOKIES That cookie factory’s dangerous I hope they make it safer Before you can go into it They make you sign a wafer
— Friday, Sept. 1, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
TEMPERATURE'S RISING I needed a turkey thermometer And so I had to stop Down by the waterfront where there’s A good mom and popup shop
— Tuesday, Sept. 5, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
SPACE MATTERS When buying a bigger bed It is important you assume That while you’ll have more bed room You’ll also have also less bedroom
— Wednesday, Sept. 6, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
BASIC TRAINING NFL running backs make great trauma surgeons Don’t look at me and scoff They have a lot of experience with Taking a handoff
— Thursday, Sept. 7, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
MINE, ALL MINE I put my new Nissan On a metaphorical shelf Because I want it Altima self
— Friday, Sept. 8, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
SPICY REMARKS I want to plant an herb garden I’m willing to pay the price But I’m also gonna need Some sage advice
— Saturday, Sept. 9, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
TAKING THE STAND A man was accused of thievery Larceny most grand His trial was going pretty well Until he took the stand
— Tuesday, Sept. 12, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
ONO There was no choice I could not stand Her shrieking voice The Plastic Oh No Band
— Wednesday, Sept. 13, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
THE ARTICHOKE Consider now the artichoke A veggie that stands apart With admirers all around the world Everyone wants its heart
— Thursday, Sept. 14, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
BELLY FLOP I tried to drown my sorrows But at that I couldn’t win Just my luck, I tell you They all learned how to swim
— Friday, Sept. 15, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
RHINO-MITE! A one-horned animal On an iron diet must Avoid turning into A rhinocerust
— Saturday, Sept. 16, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
IMAGE CONSCIOUS There’s a hieroglyphic Wheel of Fortune At which the purists scowl It seems contestants in this game Sometimes buy a fowl
— Tuesday, Sept. 19, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
AHEAD OF IT “Do you know where to get a toupee?” My good buddy said I smiled and replied “Not off the top of my head”
— Wednesday, Sept. 20, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
STEAMY I dumped too much milk In my coffee today When I tried to stop It was too latte
— Thursday, Sept. 21, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
SIDE-BY-SIDE Stand beside my clone? Strange you should ask me to do it Because, as a matter of fact, I am juxtaposed to it
— Friday, Sept. 22, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
COLLISION COURSE Flashing in the sky tonight Soon to form a crater Where did you come from, rock so bright? I’d like to meteor maker
— Saturday, Sept. 23, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
BACKWARDS On becoming a leader You’ll need a correction If you get on your high horse And face the wrong direction
— Tuesday, Sept. 26, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
TAKE A SAD SONG ... Italian advice For when you are low “If life gives you lemons” “Make limoncello”
— Wednesday, Sept. 27, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
HOT STUFF Here’s some advice For produce shoppers Poor hot peppers Are jalapeno paupers
— Thursday, Sept. 28, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
CIRCUS ACT A hungry lion tamer Came to my house to sup Thank goodness I was able To whip something up
— Friday, Sept. 29, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
COINING A TERM The U.S. Mint’s penny making press Was bad at first and how! That was a little odd back then But it makes perfect cents now