By Kevin Ahern
BAND ON THE RUN International jewel thieves In their work are very eager Some say it’s due to having A good ring leader
— Friday, Dec. 1, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
SHOOT THE BIRD To Michael Jordan for his work They gave a lovely owl He was modest and said he didn’t deserve To get a personal fowl
— Saturday, Dec. 2, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
PER VERSE Working as a poet I have to say It is clear to me Rhyme doesn’t pay
— Tuesday, Dec. 5, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
CONTROL TISSUE She said my closet’s disorganized But I had to dissent It just needs a bit of Hanger management
— Wednesday, Dec. 6, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
STOP THAT THIEF! Rustling is a crime Of this you should take note It’s because of this that Livestock thieves get my goat
— Thursday, Dec. 7, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
BACKUP PLAN As a driver’s ed instructor On a career I'm embarking My backup plan? Parallel parking
— Friday, Dec. 8, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
ART VS. FASHION Fashion and art may seem alike But that thought is most outrageous Art continually improves with age. While fashion only changes
— Sunday, Dec. 10, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
DIVIDED AND CONQUERED I went and took a giant chance But now I’m rather sad It was a calculated risk But my math was very bad
— Tuesday, Dec. 12, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
TRUE LOVE The trebuchet operator and his wife Split over a minor thing They’re back together now He got over his fling
— Wednesday, Dec. 13, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
NO HAIR MAN I want to get my hair done Everybody thinks I won’t It’s cuz I’m bald, but I’ll show them And get a new hairdon’t
— Thursday, Dec. 14, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
METER IS RUNNING Ten cents a dance is what it took Back in grandma’s day And if he had the change He’d while the dime away
— Friday, Dec. 15, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
HEAD OFF COLLISION I feel that I’ve got Reason to complain I was on the right track But so was the train
— Saturday, Dec. 16, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
MELT DOWN If rush hour jams occur I’ve got no bones When ice cream trucks Serve traffic cones
— Tuesday, Dec. 19, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
OVERDOER That book hoarder Did it again She obviously has problems With shelf discipline
— Wednesday, Dec. 20, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
ENGLISH UNITS I’m all in favor of metric With its units all aligned But I would be unhappy If you took away my pint
— Thursday, Dec. 21, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
GOTCHA! I studied hard to become a magician But now I have depression Because I failed the big exam Too many trick questions
— Friday, Dec. 22, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
RISING TO THE TOP I have a cold What an annoyance! Why does mucus Have such phlegmboyance?
— Tuesday, Dec. 26, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
WIPE OUT An accident with invisible ink Was awful for poor Jean Now she’s at the doctor’s office Waiting to be seen
— Wednesday, Dec. 27, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
BOTTOMS UP The real estate agent has a place For a most unusual dweller It got constructed upside down And is truly a top cellar
— Thursday, Dec. 28, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
SPENDING LIMIT It may seem confusing But wherever you are Money spent locally Goes very far
— Friday, Dec. 29, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
FORSYTHIA My very good buddy's A songwriting whiz He wrote a song, “Forsythia” Not knowing who Sythia is