By Kevin Ahern
HOW THE GROUCH STOLE CHRISTMAS
At Scrooge’s store last Christmas
The vibe was very mean
Because inside the main display
He had a negativity scene
— Wednesday, Oct. 1, 2025
By Kevin Ahern
OPEN YOUR EYES
So very sad
To me it seems
That some must sleep
To have their dreams
— Thursday, Oct. 2, 2025
By Kevin Ahern
CONTROL FREAK
If I had a remote that controlled the world
My reaction would be sudden
And the very first thing that I would do
Is press the Mute button
— Friday, Oct. 3, 2025
By Kevin Ahern
RUN-ON SENTENCE
Isn’t it
A bit absurd
That a word to the wise
Is never one word?
— Saturday, Oct. 4, 2025
By Kevin Ahern
PAMPERED
An infant’s thoughts
Are not wide-ranging
Focused mostly
On the times a-changing
— Tuesday, Oct. 7, 2025
By Kevin Ahern
HAIL CAESAR!
The salad bowl slipped from my hands
Our dinner hopes are dire
Inspiring a friend to quip that it’s
The fall of the romaine entire
— Wednesday, Oct. 8, 2025
By Kevin Ahern
TRUTH DECAY
I’ve pity for the modern youth
And know I’m not alone
Too many of them are seeking truth
On the screen of a smart phone
— Thursday, Oct. 9, 2025
By Kevin Ahern
WHAT'S IN A NAME
That fighting couple is going to need
To contact a legal department
After signing a long-term lease to live
At “Love Will Terrace Apartments”
— Friday, Oct. 10, 2025
By Kevin Ahern
WHEEL BIG DEAL
The carnival’s gas supplier
Did not receive his payoff
So every ride came to a halt
It was the Ferris fueler’s day off
— Saturday, Oct. 11, 2025
By Kevin Ahern
GOING FOR SECONDS
I really enjoy
Killing time with glee
Which seems only fair
It’s slowly killing me
— Tuesday, Oct. 14, 2025
By Kevin Ahern
SHELFLESS IN SEATTLE
I’d like to build a library case
That has a modern look
But in order for me to do it
I need a shelf help book
— Wednesday, Oct. 15, 2025
By Kevin Ahern
LITTER FLITTER
Always thinking outside the box
Is not the place to be at
A very clear example
Is potty training a cat
— Thursday, Oct. 16, 2025
By Kevin Ahern
SOMETHING'S OFF
The spice store is out of business
As of late last night
Their garlic and sage were wonderful
But the thyme just wasn’t right
— Friday, Oct. 17, 2025
By Kevin Ahern
BUSY SIGNALS
My buddy says
He’s feeling dizzy
Putting out many mating calls
But always getting lines that are busy
— Saturday, Oct. 18, 2025
By Kevin Ahern
TOTALLY DRAINED
He always gave 100%
And considered himself a stud
But that one day caught up with him
When he donated blood
— Tuesday, Oct. 21, 2025
By Kevin Ahern
GROWTH SPURRED
Kids outgrow very fast
Shoes and shirts and pants
But even faster they outgrow
Their allowance
— Wednesday, Oct. 22, 2025
By Kevin Ahern
THAT'S JUST SICK
My knowledge of medicine
Is confusingly transformed
Cuz I only go to doctors
Who are ill-informed
— Thursday, Oct. 23, 2025
By Kevin Ahern
ALPHA BITS
The language of love
For all intents
Is written completely
In avowals and consents
— Friday, Oct. 24, 2025
By Kevin Ahern
BARELY USED
Altruists too often
Are carefully choosing
To give others advice
They aren’t using
— Saturday, Oct. 25, 2025
By Kevin Ahern
RETURN TO SENDER
I took a stick from a dogwood tree
That sat on my tool shed shelf
But when I tried to throw it away
It fetched itself
— Tuesday, Oct. 28, 2025
By Kevin Ahern
PERSPECTIVE
“This is as good as it gets”
Is the optimist’s claim
The pessimist, on the other hand
Fears the same
— Wednesday, Oct. 29, 2025
By Kevin Ahern
HIGH AND INSIDE PITCH
I quit my job at the helium factory
After tiring of the tit for tat
But to be honest the reason I left was because
I refuse to be talked to like that
— Thursday, Oct. 30, 2025
By Kevin Ahern
WELL BLOW ME DOWN
The sailboat sits unmoved
In its location
Having to deal with
A no-wind situation