By Kevin Ahern
YOU'RE KIDDING
Something she caught
Put her life on the skids
When she consulted AI
It said she had kids
— Tuesday, Feb. 3, 2026
By Kevin Ahern
OPEN AND SHUT
70 years before my 70th year
I opened my eyes and then
70 years passed and I realized
They will close again
— Wednesday, Feb. 4, 2026
By Kevin Ahern
LOVE HURTS
Valentine’s Day is coming fast
Let the wooing begin
Just know that Cupid’s arrow
Hurts coming out, not going in
— Thursday, Feb. 5, 2026
By Kevin Ahern
KICKING BACK
That lazy guy is napping
He doesn’t have a plan
The problem is he suffers from
A short intention span
— Friday, Feb. 6, 2026
By Kevin Ahern
FIGURES
With geometry, it isn’t possible
No matter how hard you wrangle
But with love, it’s not uncommon
For curves to create a triangle
— Saturday, Feb. 7, 2026
By Kevin Ahern
ECONOMICS
Vacation time is coming soon
And I’d love to see Bora Bora
It has been a longtime dream of mine
Alas, I’m pora pora
— Tuesday, Feb. 10, 2026
By Kevin Ahern
SMASHED
I told him he’d had too much to drink
And wouldn’t get very far
He discovered I was right when he
Got run over by a parked car
— Wednesday, Feb. 11, 2026
By Kevin Ahern
ATLANTIS
Imaginary places
Are risky, so beware
Because every one of them
Is neither here nor there
— Thursday, Feb. 12, 2026
By Kevin Ahern
CONDITION HER
The water climbing through her hair
Certainly did surprise her
She claims that it must be due
To her brand new moisture riser
— Friday, Feb. 13, 2026
By Kevin Ahern
MINIMUM RAGE
Justin now
Is full of rage
He doesn’t like his job
And its sourly wage
— Saturday, Feb. 14, 2026
By Kevin Ahern
SOMETHING OFF THE END
I know it can be annoying
I’m doing all I can
But the problem is
I have a short attention
— Tuesday, Feb. 17, 2026
By Kevin Ahern
LISTEN UP
Four simple words
Get no opposition —
Knowledge speaks
Wisdom listens
— Wednesday, Feb. 18, 2026
By Kevin Ahern
ANTSY
Joe checks for SMS constantly
He has a big fixation
I guess it’s fair to say he has
A very high textpectation
— Thursday, Feb. 19, 2026
By Kevin Ahern
PACING ONESELF
For resolutions, a treadmill
Is really where it’s at
Most accurately described as
An accessory after the fat
— Friday, Feb. 20, 2026
By Kevin Ahern
BANDWIDTH
YouTube videos
A wonderful invention
Powered by
A stream engine
— Sunday, Feb. 22, 2026
By Kevin Ahern
COMING DOWN
If alcohol makes you feel too high,
Please listen to this warning
No need to worry about it now
You’ll feel lower in the morning
— Tuesday, Feb. 24, 2026
By Kevin Ahern
HIGH PRICE TOUPEE
A local wig shop was burgled last night
And after getting over the shock
They went to work immediately
To replace every lock
— Wednesday, Feb. 25, 2026
By Kevin Ahern
DO IT YOURSELF
To build some bookcases
For his nook
The carpenter sought
A shelf help book
— Thursday, Feb. 26, 2026
By Kevin Ahern
LIGHTEN UP
Police accused a young man
Of being a common vandal
For stealing wax and wicks
And causing an awful scandle
— Friday, Feb. 27, 2026
By Kevin Ahern
ANGEL FEUD
I gotta be careful ‘bout what I say
Or ‘twill be a big mistake
Seducing dessert lovers isn’t hard
It’s just a piece of cake