By Kevin Ahern
Getting Some Boos
At Halloween, a ghost said he
Was acting on a whim
He worked quite hard at fooling me
But I saw right through him

Classical Dilemma
That Bach musician talked of woe
Hoping it would provoke
A donation of a bit of dough
Because he was baroque
Tuesday, Nov. 1, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
For Sail
I heard old Navy women
Before each of their sails
Would pinch themselves for luck
Or is that an old Wave’s tale?

Lo-Cal Locale
I dropped some sweetener in the yard
My wife won’t let it pass
She said it just reminded her
Of Splenda® in the grass
Wednesday, Nov. 2, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Extra Pay
I asked my doc of nitrates
She looked at me and laughed
And said she really likes them cuz
They give her time and a half

Coded Message
I got a big apology
To which I had been owed
’Twas written in dots and dashes, though
Some kind of remorse code
Thursday, Nov. 3, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Little Nipper
A wee French dog that carries wine
Leaves people feeling jolly
They have a special name for it
It’s called a Bordeaux Collie

A Tangled Web
Hair conditioner users
Of which there sure are lots
Can be divided into
The haves and the have knots
Saturday, Nov. 5, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Plane to See
Flat Earthers logic leads them to
A crazy wild obsession
I think the matter’s if 2D
Or not 2D’s the question

In Digestion
I cannot keep my termite pets
No place for them to roam
So I will give them all away
For free to a wood home
Monday, Nov. 7, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Fools Russian In
Though I know it’s true for many foods
That Russians say ‘nyet’
They all are happy eating pho
Cuz it is so Viet

A tardigrade is apropos
For a biology student lass
It’s what the teacher gave to her
For being late for class
Tuesday, Nov. 8, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Angel Feud
I gotta be careful ‘bout what I say
Or ‘twill be a big mistake
Seducing dessert lovers isn’t hard
It’s just a piece of cake

I gave up Eastern religion
And all I can say is ‘wow’
The change I felt was quite complete
When I threw in the Tao
Wednesday, Nov. 9, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
That Wood Hurt
Pinocchio asked 
A collegian
About the pains
In his lumber region

Room to Spar
At boxing weddings
Everyone stares
Because they are
Black eye affairs
Thursday, Nov. 10, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Zeroing In
I got a zero on my test
Despite what I’d been taught
It meant all of my studying
Was literally for naught

Number One Goal
The potty training effort
For those parents now is done
So they have written a helpful book
Called “How the Wets Was Won”
Friday, Nov. 11, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Cutting the Custard
You certainly seemed to like dessert
Exclaiming about it wildly
To me it tasted awfully bland
And I am pudding it mildly

Small Sample Size
Regarding kidnappings
Europeans are shook
No approval of them
From the Pole I took
Saturday, Nov. 12, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
On the Lamb
A shepherd guy at Christmas time
Was feeling rather odd
I’m pleased to say, I made him smile
Singing Fleece Navidad

Not a Perk
I hit my head on the coffee pot
And it left me quite confused
I worry each time I use it now
Cuz it makes nasty brews
Monday, Nov. 14, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Empty Feeling
I tried to start
But the car would not
When they asked if I knew why
I said, “I gas not”

Current Attractions
My problems with electricity
Are looming very large
The reason is I broke Ohm’s Law
And so I will be charged
Tuesday, Nov. 15, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Double Letter Score
A lady got a message that
Quite deeply did upset her
It seems the Scrabble company
Sent her a threatening letter

Fathom of the Opera
To an underwater opera
Italians all say “Viva!”
They need to find a singer, though
Perhaps a scuba diva?
Wednesday, Nov. 16, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Wink, Wink
My friend was injured on the job
By safety glasses, see
He poked his cornea with them bad
It was great eyerony

Astro Not
An astronautical space suit
Is worn by big and small
Protecting from exposure to
Literally, nothing at all
Thursday, Nov. 17, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Yellow Brick Load
When Dorothy got to Oz
In the midst of much mayhem
She looked around for money
And cried, “ATM, ATM”

To the Letter
Perhaps he was a spelling guy
Wondering what to say
Whatever the reason, this guy declared
“There is no ‘F’ in way”
Friday, Nov. 18, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Taco Bull
Cuisine from south of the border
Deserves its share of hype
So if you do not like this food
Then I am nacho type

Continental Rift
If you like rock formations
Then please remember this
To practicing geologists
Igneous is bliss
Saturday, Nov. 19, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Out on a Limb
After the oak tree’s performance
I guess I gotta say wow
It was so good that he came out
And took a great big bough

Roamin’ Candle
I do not know the story’s source
Of poor old Mr. Smith
Who drank a fifth July the fourth
And couldn’t go forth July the fifth
Monday, Nov. 21, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Making Change
A bunch of big pink flowers
Fell out of the sky May seven
The logical explanation?
‘Twas raining peonies from heaven

Life Lines
With respect to getting older
I told my buddy, Max
What you see may look like wrinkles
But really, they’re just wise cracks
Tuesday, Nov. 22, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
All Mixed Up
At the entropy bar
She thought they ignored her
Because in that place
There’s no way to order

Like Dock Work
The longshoreman thinks
His boss is a jerk
Because he gets docked
When he shows up for work
Wednesday, Nov. 23, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Hold Up
Professional wrestling
Is an odd sport, I’ve felt
Cuz people with no pants
Fight for a belt

Minus Sign
My fave group for now
Can make lots of noise
They’re called The Subtractions
“Take it away boys”
Friday, Nov. 25, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Sleep on It
Hyatt’s buying cheap hotels
From Germany to Dover
The business people say it is
A big hostel takeover

A Losing Preposition
The grammar police are really tough
I hope I pass inspections
If I should fail, they’ll make me meet
With officers from corrections
Saturday, Nov. 26, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Bad Altitude
My very short buddy
Says he is not able
Cuz he struggles to put
Food on the table

Well Dung
The dung beetle’s breakfast
Was served a la carte
Consisting of only
A single poop tart
Monday, Nov. 28, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
The silent auction down the street
Attracted quite a crowd
It’s the strangest one I’ve every seen
No bidding was aloud

Lo-Cal Treat
A snowman on the prowl one night
Said, “Two is better than one”
His threesome with snow ladies was
Some ice queen sandwich fun
Tuesday, Nov. 29, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Hard of Hearing
One thing is true
It would appear
van Gogh could not
Play music by ear

Havana Other One
When I heard this claim
I almost choked
They say sea gars
Taste good when smoked
Wednesday, Nov. 30, 2022