By Kevin Ahern
BREAKING UP IS HARD TO DO Two hats fell in love, then out, then in, Continuing this times ten It seems that their relationship Is don again doff again
— Saturday, July 1, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
LEAVING IT TO THE PROSE When poetry fails Everyone knows It’s time to leave it To the prose
— Tuesday, July 4, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
QUARTER OFF The universe is so Incredibly mean Cuz change is inevitable Til you’re at a vending machine
— Wednesday, July 5, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
RODEO The bull riding machine Made many folks scoff But when someone changed it It threw many folks off
— Thursday, July 6, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
POWERFUL WEAPONS In regards to books Here’s an introduction All are weapons Of mass instruction
— Friday, July 7, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
TIME LIMIT Please correct me If I’m wrong But shouldn’t Catholic mass Be Sistine minutes long?
— Saturday, July 8, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
LURED TALE Fishing is a sport of which I’m really not a lover It involves a jerk at one end of a line Awaiting a jerk at the other
— Sunday, July 9, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
AMTRAK Amtrak’s lateness Many decry it But it’s so regular You can set your watch by it
— Monday, July 10, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
SOMETHING TO CROW ABOUT They’ve closed their doors For humans, they’re gone Selling now just to avians, Bird Bath and Beyond
— Wednesday, July 12, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
ACCEPT COOKIES? Nabisco’s brand new factory In Maryland everyone knows Because it is the place where they Make Baltimore Oreos
— Thursday, July 13, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
WEIGHED DOWN Isaac Newton Watching the apple deduced Gravity is something Mass produced
— Friday, July 14, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
QUIET TYPES People like dogs Old and young Cuz they wag their tails Instead of their tongues
— Saturday, July 15, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
OATH OF OFFICE “I’ve been elected President” “Of the Profanity Club,” he grinned But I don’t want to be at The swearing in
— Tuesday, July 18, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
SUBSTITUTION I’m at a loss Don’t know what to do I asked for pure bat guano They gave me shampoo
— Wednesday, July 19, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
WHAT DOESN'T GO UP He failed the astronaut exam Bad answers, every one The worst of all involved his plan To land on the dark side of the sun
— Thursday, July 20, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
OPPOSITE DAY I saw today is Opposite Day As soon as I’d arisen It is the time when what usually is Isn’t
— Friday, July 21, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
BOTTOMS UP When a teetotaler’s day is through They’re wanting a special brew That’ll lift the spirit Without lifting a spirit
— Saturday, July 22, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
LIVE CULTURE I walked into a yogurt bar At about half past nine And asked of an attractive miss Yoplait or mine?
— Tuesday, July 25, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
AFTER A WHILE When phoning home A lonely reptile Will grab a phone And crocodial
— Wednesday, July 26, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
DIETARY RESTRICTIONS Jack Clark will eat no carb His wife eats only that It makes the plan for picnics hard With their friends, the family Sprat
— Thursday, July 27, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
FOOD FOR THOUGHT A local frog is hungry He’s probably not alone Because the local neighborhood Is now a no fly zone
— Friday, July 28, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
INSPIRATION The best inspiration for writing So sad, but very true Is having a very important thing I really need to do