By Kevin Ahern
Moving Violation The naked hiker on the mountain Has just made full disclosure It seems he got arrested for In descent exposure Athletic Support The martial arts Affect my stance Consider the black belt Holding up my pants
— Wednesday, June 1, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Outside the Box It’s worse than mixing Metaphors That the Interior department Manages the outdoors Looking for Weed If craving for the ocean Is the way you’ve always felt Then I recommend quite strongly That you should sea kelp
— Thursday, June 2, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
In Season The hunter seeking ducks outside Has in the duck blind hid He learned to do the calling fast Quack learning this guy did Mold Gold There is a smudge upon my wall I should clean it, but I won’t What looks a lot like mildew Turns out to be mildon’t
— Friday, June 3, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Spring For It The mattress salesmen said to me, “My box springs are much deader” But if I bought a set from him My sleep would get much bedder Nappy Time For English mothers It’s absurd Remember that “Mum’s” the word
— Saturday, June 4, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Hoppy Hour There’s joy in hops When they’re on sale To learn of beer Is to know of ale Stop On It Please do not Engage your throttle Any time You use the bottle
— Monday, June 6, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Nut Quacker Donald Duck Is up and gone Arising at the Quack of dawn Mum’s the Word A group attack By evil mimes Resulted in Unspeakable crimes
— Tuesday, June 7, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Paperback Rider A bookworm here Could not resist Putting “Waiting for Godot” On her Beckett list Duly Wedded The Dating Game couple Does not disparage The idea behind Game marriage
— Wednesday, June 8, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Going Fur Dogs pull sleds Heavily weighted Each one is Mush appreciated Short Stops Little Leaguers At the platter Each of them A peanut batter
— Friday, June 10, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
In Brief Readers Digest Most absurd Has lists of naughty Three letter words Bouncing Back Whenever you want to give up After a major crisis It’s time to get up off your butt And renew your thriver’s license
— Monday, June 13, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Alien Life Looking for footprints in Martian soil Perseverance rolls along We don’t think there are Martians there But I hope they are wrong Cuz a new life form to us to see Would be worth the all fuss And it would almost surely be More intelligent than us Tongue Untied The face of a child says it all There’s no need to debate it Primarily cuz it is the place Where their mouth's located
— Tuesday, June 14, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Life Goals When it comes to aspirations Aiming high is quite the boon Remember no one ever heard Of the cow jumping under the moon Burying the Hatchet When it's time to bury the hatchet Opinions on that are varied Just be certain that you know Exactly where it’s buried
— Wednesday, June 15, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Lonely at the Top The process of getting older Is truly not a fun biz When you’re told to respect your elders But you can’t find one who is She’ll Love You If you wonder if she loves you Don’t bother asking God Instead, just choose a flower to count With petals numbered odd
— Thursday, June 16, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Writing Advice My advice for aspiring writers Is to the point, not vague Whatever you do, it’s important to Avoid cliches, like the plague Having Great Time Post cards are a means to show The way our letters come and go I’d like to learn the system, so If you don’t get this, please let me know
— Friday, June 17, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
From Bad to Verse The dessert is bad Can you not see? It’s really very Off-pudding to me Old Goaled Retirement’s when You gotta believe People take Maturity leave
— Saturday, June 18, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
In a Tin The Altoids inventor Must have had a hint That he would soon Be making a mint Sandy Way Go Walking the Sahara Seems to me to be Quite surreal Long time, no sea
— Monday, June 20, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
About a Stout A drink of beer At home at night Helps me to wet My appetite Cooking Oils When the gallery caught On fire I learned They had a bad case Of art burn
— Tuesday, June 21, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
House Guessed The back door where I built addenda Is the place My hacienda Taco Time Mexican food Is very neato On my diet I burreato
— Thursday, June 23, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
High Cows The cow that jumped over the moon Is quite the thing and how Because it was the very first Evaporated milk cow The Balloon The balloon felt Horribly cursed The day that it Became disburst
— Friday, June 24, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Life Folks enter with a slate most blank Farmer, baker, banker But after walking down life’s plank Some leave with one that’s blanker The Aardvark Making an aardvark Is not very hard Mix one part vark With one part aard
— Saturday, June 25, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Freudian Slips? According to The leading psychologists Everyone has faults Especially geologists Tree Hugger I really like to hug the trees But people say I shouldn’t One thing I’ll say about chopping them I woodn’t
— Monday, June 27, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Carbon Copy Regarding imitation, they say It’s the sincerest way to flatter But be aware, the copyright office Takes a different view of the matter Change of Life Imagine the surprise of a caterpillar That thinks it’s about to die But then sprouts out wings most beautiful And suddenly begins to fly
— Tuesday, June 28, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Tae Kwon Don’t Learn the martial arts? No, I won’t For me, it's a matter Of Tae Kwon Don’t On the Tarmac Air traffic control In my house is a must Cuz my furniture is A landing strip for dust
— Wednesday, June 29, 2022
By Kevin Ahern
Superhero I really wish that someone Would explain to me again Which one is the secret identity Clark Kent or Superman? Giving Thanks When it comes To expressing gratitude He truly has A baditude