By Kevin Ahern
LAID OUT IN SPACE A credit card’s three dimensions Are very hard to forget Because they simply consist of Length, width, and debt
— Tuesday, Jan. 2, 2024
By Kevin Ahern
I HAVE A DREAM I never should have listened To them and all their talking They told me I should follow my dreams So now I’m sleepwalking
— Wednesday, Jan. 3, 2024
By Kevin Ahern
MUSICAL NOTE I’d really like On this occasion To note that The Police Was a Sting operation
— Thursday, Jan. 4, 2024
By Kevin Ahern
WELL COVERED Because the relationship Can be quite loony You should never judge A book by its movie
— Friday, Jan. 5, 2024
By Kevin Ahern
I'M OAK, YOU'RE OAK People say I talk about trees too much I really try not to, but I forget My therapist says I’m making progress But not out of the woods yet
— Saturday, Jan. 6, 2024
By Kevin Ahern
A FUSILLI REMARKS When she starts straining The pasta goes awhirl Oh, how I love My colander girl
— Tuesday, Jan. 9, 2024
By Kevin Ahern
WORDS TO THE WHYS A piece of advice That a wise person knows It is better to go outdoors Than outwindows
— Wednesday, Jan. 10, 2024
By Kevin Ahern
SHARE THE ROAD It’s something every Beginning driver learns When there are curves in the road You need to take turns
— Thursday, Jan. 11, 2024
By Kevin Ahern
FAMILY TREE The tiny leaf that just fell down Is a genealogist to be From his perspective on the ground He can look up his family tree
— Friday, Jan. 12, 2024
By Kevin Ahern
TURNING TABLES I’m studying record catalogs All day, I am Because tomorrow Is the vinyl exam
— Saturday, Jan. 13, 2024
By Kevin Ahern
UP IN THE AIR Native American smoke signalers Were far ahead of the crowd Being the very first individuals To communicate using the cloud
— Tuesday, Jan. 16, 2024
By Kevin Ahern
GOOD AS NEW I’ve spoiled the plot of Dorian Gray Again, so I’ve been told I must admit I enjoy doing that It never, ever gets old
— Wednesday, Jan. 17, 2024
By Kevin Ahern
AMNESIA Alcohol addiction Can happen in a blink You know you're in big trouble When you drink to forget you drink
— Thursday, Jan. 18, 2024
By Kevin Ahern
WOK ALL OVER YOU At the Chinese cooking festival To the cubicles folks were flocking And over each one was a giant sign “These Booths are Made for Woking”
— Friday, Jan. 19, 2024
By Kevin Ahern
BAD SCIENCE He was an awful taxonomist. But let’s keep that between us The biggest problem he had was that He thought he was a genus
— Saturday, Jan. 20, 2024
By Kevin Ahern
SPONTANEOUS COORDINATION A flash mob performing in front of me I wonder what's the chance Did someone know that I'd be here Or was it a coincidance?
— Tuesday, Jan. 23, 2024
By Kevin Ahern
MATHEMATICAL GENIUS I memorized all the digits of Pi At math, I really shine It wasn’t all that difficult “0,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9”
— Wednesday, Jan. 24, 2024
By Kevin Ahern
MEMORY BLANK The iPad performing at the night club Screwed up really big The problem seems to have been A really bad gig
— Thursday, Jan. 25, 2024
By Kevin Ahern
UPSIDE DOWN Truly evil people Have things reversed When they’re at their best They’re at their worst
— Friday, Jan. 26, 2024
By Kevin Ahern
SWEET TREAT I guess I should say After that cinnamon roll That confection is really Good for the soul
— Saturday, Jan. 27, 2024
By Kevin Ahern
BREAK PADS At General Motors, lunch Includes sandwiches and cakes But salmon’s strictly forbidden Due to their anti-lox breaks
— Sunday, Jan. 28, 2024
By Kevin Ahern
ONE ON ONE The instructor I hired Has my bird overeating I think it is time For a parrot-teacher meeting
— Tuesday, Jan. 30, 2024
By Kevin Ahern
GETTING SECONDS Swapping my watch for a massage Sure seemed like an idea prime I guess you could say that I Was clearly pressed for time