By Kevin Ahern
ON THE BALL
Old age is a time
I must denounce
I finally got on the ball
But it lost its bounce
— Tuesday, Dec. 2, 2025
By Kevin Ahern
SPRAYER CIRCLE
The graffiti artist had moved on
It was clear to one and all
Because the handwriting
Was on the wall
— Wedensday, Dec. 3, 2025
By Kevin Ahern
CENSORSHIP
A pencil is mightier than a sword
But not than a eraser
An observation much adored
By all two bit dictators
— Thursday, Dec. 4, 2025
By Kevin Ahern
DUPED
With respect to being duplicated
My DNA was not delighted
So it went out and had itself
Copyrighted
— Friday, Dec. 5, 2025
By Kevin Ahern
LESS TIME OFF
Clarence plans to unretire
After the latest calamity
Now he feels a strong urge to spend
Less time with his family
— Saturday, Dec. 6, 2025
By Kevin Ahern
TO HEIR IS HUMANE
Dad says all the mistakes I make
Are unnecessary and aberrant
And that is why he calls me
His err apparent
— Tuesday, Dec. 9, 2025
By Kevin Ahern
EXPLETIVE DEFEATED
Righteous indignation
Is the resulting situation
When swearing’s subtracted
From the equation
— Wednesday, Dec. 10, 2025
By Kevin Ahern
DULLSVILLE
For the least interesting story contest
I entered and highly scored
Putting the crowd to sleep in record time
When I went over-bored
— Thursday, Dec. 11, 2025
By Kevin Ahern
MY FIEND FLICKER
Due to the action
Of some thieving vandals
Ikea won’t be having
Its annual blowout sale on candles
— Friday, Dec. 12, 2025
By Kevin Ahern
HEAR NOW
They said my hearing aid needed repair
Though I wasn’t really convinced
I’ve been awaiting their reply since I sent it off
But haven’t heard a word since
— Saturday, Dec. 13, 2025
By Kevin Ahern
VENOUS MARK
Mrs. Vericose called her son
To needle him again
Alas it didn’t work
Her effort was in vein
— Tuesday, Dec. 16, 2025
By Kevin Ahern
UNBURNED
The pessimist
Is quite the dope
Using sunscreen to block
Rays of hope
— Wednesday, Dec. 17, 2025
By Kevin Ahern
TIMED
We’re time travelers
The tickets one-way and short;
Sailing through the present
From yesterday’s port
— Thursday, Dec. 18, 2025
By Kevin Ahern
EPITAPH
Fly away, my friend
To where you’re bound
Nothing holding you
To the ground
— Friday, Dec. 19, 2025
By Kevin Ahern
UNHAPPY HOUR
The unhappiest hour
Of the day is here
Too late for coffee
Too early for beer
— Saturday, Dec. 20, 2025
By Kevin Ahern
PROPER GRAMMAR
My English teacher has an owl
She taught it, I presume
Because it sits around at night
Going “Whom, Whom”
— Tuesday, Dec. 23, 2025
By Kevin Ahern
DECLINING PROFITS
When company revenues tanked
The shareholder’s hearts were broken
Then the CEO got yanked
And so it was, the profits had spoken
— Wednesday, Dec. 24, 2025
By Kevin Ahern
TWO STRIKES
A lady in the country bought
Three male cats for her farm
Two didn’t work, but the last one did
I guess the third tom’s a charm
— Thursday, Dec. 25, 2025
By Kevin Ahern
RAINY DAZE
Puddles, splashes
Messy ways
An Oregonian’s
Rainy daze
— Saturday, Dec. 27, 2025
By Kevin Ahern
CLOUD NEIN
Someone told me the cloud
Is an expensive place to be
I guess every silver lining
Now has a service fee
— Tuesday, Dec. 30, 2025
By Kevin Ahern
LOST IN SPACE
The universe expands each day
Into uncharted sections
A cosmic nod to all those guys
Who never ask directions