By Kevin Ahern
Watered Down Frosty the snowman Won’t discuss how he felt Cuz when he falls in love His heart melts Twisted Logic I don’t want to Start a feud But pretzels really Are knot food
— Wednesday, March 1, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
Elementary The iron man got gussied up For the big atomic ball And took his favorite lady out The ferrous of them all Star Material New Mexicans admire an actress Some describe as perky But others say she’s odd and ask “Is Jessica Alba Quirky?”
— Thursday, March 2, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
Real Cut Up Sir Lancelot It would appear Had a sworded affair With Guinevere After Taste Artificial sweeteners Your praises they sing Cuz love is a many Splenda thing
— Friday, March 3, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
Early Delivery The convent lady Who arrived at noon Wasn’t due til 2:00 Nun too soon Steaks are High Shipboard barbecues Are very thrilling Perhaps because of Offshore grilling
— Saturday, March 4, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
OH OK When two letter abbreviations For states were required It was a contractor The Post Office hired Crusty Fellow The creator of Domino’s has died The cause remains a mystery No matter, though, it’s over now And he’s a pizza history
— Sunday, March 5, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
Ono I make funny JPEGs With Japanese themes But I wish the yens Would justify the memes At a Clip The new air freshener I'm working on Smells like French grass It’s called Meau de Lawn
— Tuesday, March 7, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
Go Bro As for my brother’s Christmas gift I’ll have to modify I thought a penguin was perfect But that idea won’t fly Acropolis Now My love for olives Never ceases I think of them As Greece’s pieces
— Wednesday, March 8, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
Punch Line Vlad the Impaler likes to joke But his punchlines make me cry His favorite one begins, I’m told “So this bar goes into a guy” Splat That Many loads were fired at folks But they all mostly missed ‘em The trebuchet was deadly, though An early warring system
— Thursday, March 9, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
Holed Over My cousin coming to my house Was late in his arriving Cuz he bought donuts while en route And got stopped for Dunkin’ driving Szech Won’t A Chinese food place got torn down According to instruction The whole thing seemed to me as though It was wonton destruction
— Friday, March 10, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
Hunger Games That drive-in restaurant brings folks in To get some tasty bites I seems to be a place where they can Curb their appetites Deep Down My muffler shop’s got problems now No water for a spell They’ll fix it with a real deep hole OK, I’ll say it - Midas’ well
— Saturday, March 11, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
Out on a Limb When a mighty oak got ill It found relief By using a bit of Accumulated sick leaf Up in Arms For food at the T. Rex cafe Don’t just go in and demand it Because they usually are Very shorthanded
— Sunday, March 12, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
Fowl Bull The priest takes his parakeets Out to enjoy the weather They fly around in bunches Because birds of a father flock together Rhyme Crime There was a poem I’d hoped to write Of drying grapes when weather’s blazin’ But writer’s block and coolish nights Left me here with no rhyme or raisin
— Tuesday, March 14, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
Dressing Up That Caesar salad’s bad So do not grab it But I think I may Take a stab at it On the Know Creative people It sometimes seems Really are Perpetual notion machines
— Wednesday, March 15, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
Take Me To Your Weeder Old MacDonald’s farm Has a leader you should know And he is now the company’s C-I-E-I-O In the Fold The origami channel That is so very new Is something you can only watch On cable paper view
— Thursday, March 16, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
Foiled Again An important matter I’d like to settle Eating Reynolds wrap Makes you sheet metal Tiny Font Of insect puns Don’t even try It’s hard to write one On the fly
— Friday, March 17, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
Gotta Give ‘em Credit Accountants Almost everywhere Realize that it’s Accrual world out there Shocking News Though electricians In days may roam They like to relax At night at ohm
— Saturday, March 18, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
Shoo! The guy’s pony picked in the upcoming race Got a horde of mosquitos upon its long face So he sprayed repellent onto it, of course And thus truly was Deeting a bet horse Wet Head The hostess of the doggie bash Is very sad indeed Cuz one guest did the party crash And then RSVPeed
— Sunday, March 19, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
Story Line When her book was rejected The writer was shown She was in the write place But the wrong tome Last Gasp The view in space There is no faking With helmet off It’s quite breathtaking
— Tuesday, March 21, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
Bar Code To buy a sweater With Visa, then You need to swipe Your cardigan Seeing Through Things The invisible man Gets no pleasure Suffering from Appear pressure
— Wednesday, March 22, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
Filling the Bills Utilities are high For water flowing So prepare to be H2Owing Net Gain Aussie nerds Are computer wonders Because they’re from A LAN down under
— Thursday, March 23, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
Quiet Earp A silent cowboy movie’s out It’s all that I could want They titled it quite cleverly “All’s Quiet on the Western Front” Smiley The ASPCA knows well A story it retells It’s about a dentist who fights Cruelty to enamels
— Friday, March 24, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
Fighting Words The priest assigned to the navy was Provided with this tip No matter where you sail to You’re on a place of warship Witty Kitty My kitty cat’s computer-smart With knowledge rather vast And every Tuesday night she hosts A very cool pawed cast
— Saturday, March 25, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
Going for Baroque To recommend music That really rocks Put ideas in The Johann Suggestion Bachs Bull Loney My fortune cookie said “You are what you eat” Now I’m worried That I’m dead meat
— Sunday, March 26, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
Beni Ha-Ha The Asian restaurant chef sure seemed To the lady rather dreamy She asked him “Are those chopsticks or” “Are you just happy to sashimi?” Here Comes the Bride A bride planned her big wedding At a church with all her kin It seems she had a three word plan “aisle” “altar” “hymn”
— Tuesday, March 28, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
Pained in Full Our furniture goes back To Louis the 15th Unless we pay Louis On the 14th Water You Doing? My plumbers are busy And I am pissed They put me on Their wading list
— Wednesday, March 29, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
Long Sentence My grammar, it seems, is rather poor I mess up with who, what, and when My verbs are wrong. My sentences long. So I goof up noun then Grade on the Curve I’m in a snappy comebacks class That is surprisingly hard I’m not doing very well in it And will get a poor retort card
— Thursday, March 30, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
High Rider A little rose Desired a hike So went outside And petaled a bike Playing With Fire A husband of 30 years Just got burned to ashes He said his wife’s hot But only in flashes