By Kevin Ahern
Watered Down
Frosty the snowman
Won’t discuss how he felt
Cuz when he falls in love
His heart melts

Twisted Logic
I don’t want to
Start a feud
But pretzels really
Are knot food
Wednesday, March 1, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
The iron man got gussied up
For the big atomic ball
And took his favorite lady out
The ferrous of them all

Star Material
New Mexicans admire an actress
Some describe as perky
But others say she’s odd and ask
“Is Jessica Alba Quirky?”
Thursday, March 2, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
Real Cut Up
Sir Lancelot
It would appear
Had a sworded affair
With Guinevere

After Taste
Artificial sweeteners
Your praises they sing
Cuz love is a many
Splenda thing
Friday, March 3, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
Early Delivery
The convent lady
Who arrived at noon
Wasn’t due til 2:00
Nun too soon

Steaks are High
Shipboard barbecues
Are very thrilling
Perhaps because of
Offshore grilling
Saturday, March 4, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
When two letter abbreviations
For states were required
It was a contractor
The Post Office hired

Crusty Fellow
The creator of Domino’s has died
The cause remains a mystery
No matter, though, it’s over now
And he’s a pizza history
Sunday, March 5, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
I make funny JPEGs
With Japanese themes
But I wish the yens 
Would justify the memes

At a Clip
The new air freshener
I'm working on
Smells like French grass
It’s called Meau de Lawn
Tuesday, March 7, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
Go Bro
As for my brother’s Christmas gift
I’ll have to modify
I thought a penguin was perfect
But that idea won’t fly 

Acropolis Now
My love for olives
Never ceases
I think of them
As Greece’s pieces
Wednesday, March 8, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
Punch Line
Vlad the Impaler likes to joke
But his punchlines make me cry
His favorite one begins, I’m told
“So this bar goes into a guy”

Splat That
Many loads were fired at folks
But they all mostly missed ‘em
The trebuchet was deadly, though
An early warring system
Thursday, March 9, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
Holed Over
My cousin coming to my house
Was late in his arriving
Cuz he bought donuts while en route
And got stopped for Dunkin’ driving

Szech Won’t
A Chinese food place got torn down
According to instruction
The whole thing seemed to me as though
It was wonton destruction
Friday, March 10, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
Hunger Games
That drive-in restaurant brings folks in
To get some tasty bites
I seems to be a place where they can 
Curb their appetites

Deep Down
My muffler shop’s got problems now
No water for a spell
They’ll fix it with a real deep hole
OK, I’ll say it - Midas’ well
Saturday, March 11, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
Out on a Limb
When a mighty oak got ill
It found relief
By using a bit of
Accumulated sick leaf

Up in Arms
For food at the T. Rex cafe
Don’t just go in and demand it
Because they usually are
Very shorthanded
Sunday, March 12, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
Fowl Bull
The priest takes his parakeets
Out to enjoy the weather
They fly around in bunches
Because birds of a father flock together

Rhyme Crime
There was a poem I’d hoped to write
Of drying grapes when weather’s blazin’
But writer’s block and coolish nights
Left me here with no rhyme or raisin
Tuesday, March 14, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
Dressing Up
That Caesar salad’s bad
So do not grab it
But I think I may
Take a stab at it

On the Know
Creative people
It sometimes seems
Really are
Perpetual notion machines
Wednesday, March 15, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
Take Me To Your Weeder
Old MacDonald’s farm
Has a leader you should know
And he is now the company’s

In the Fold
The origami channel
That is so very new
Is something you can only watch
On cable paper view
Thursday, March 16, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
Foiled Again
An important matter
I’d like to settle
Eating Reynolds wrap
Makes you sheet metal

Tiny Font
Of insect puns
Don’t even try
It’s hard to write one
On the fly
Friday, March 17, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
Gotta Give ‘em Credit
Almost everywhere
Realize that it’s
Accrual world out there

Shocking News
Though electricians
In days may roam
They like to relax
At night at ohm
Saturday, March 18, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
The guy’s pony picked in the upcoming race
Got a horde of mosquitos upon its long face
So he sprayed repellent onto it, of course
And thus truly was Deeting a bet horse

Wet Head
The hostess of the doggie bash
Is very sad indeed
Cuz one guest did the party crash
And then RSVPeed
Sunday, March 19, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
Story Line
When her book was rejected
The writer was shown
She was in the write place
But the wrong tome

Last Gasp
The view in space
There is no faking
With helmet off
It’s quite breathtaking
Tuesday, March 21, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
Bar Code
To buy a sweater
With Visa, then
You need to swipe
Your cardigan

Seeing Through Things
The invisible man
Gets no pleasure
Suffering from 
Appear pressure
Wednesday, March 22, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
Filling the Bills
Utilities are high
For water flowing
So prepare to be

Net Gain
Aussie nerds
Are computer wonders
Because they’re from 
A LAN down under
Thursday, March 23, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
Quiet Earp
A silent cowboy movie’s out
It’s all that I could want
They titled it quite cleverly
“All’s Quiet on the Western Front”

The ASPCA knows well
A story it retells
It’s about a dentist who fights
Cruelty to enamels
Friday, March 24, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
Fighting Words
The priest assigned to the navy was
Provided with this tip
No matter where you sail to
You’re on a place of warship 

Witty Kitty
My kitty cat’s computer-smart
With knowledge rather vast
And every Tuesday night she hosts
A very cool pawed cast
Saturday, March 25, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
Going for Baroque
To recommend music
That really rocks
Put ideas in
The Johann Suggestion Bachs

Bull Loney
My fortune cookie said
“You are what you eat”
Now I’m worried
That I’m dead meat
Sunday, March 26, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
Beni Ha-Ha
The Asian restaurant chef sure seemed
To the lady rather dreamy
She asked him “Are those chopsticks or”
“Are you just happy to sashimi?”

Here Comes the Bride
A bride planned her big wedding
At a church with all her kin
It seems she had a three word plan
“aisle” “altar” “hymn”
Tuesday, March 28, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
Pained in Full
Our furniture goes back
To Louis the 15th
Unless we pay Louis 
On the 14th

Water You Doing?
My plumbers are busy
And I am pissed
They put me on
Their wading list
Wednesday, March 29, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
Long Sentence
My grammar, it seems, is rather poor
I mess up with who, what, and when
My verbs are wrong. My sentences long.
So I goof up noun then

Grade on the Curve
I’m in a snappy comebacks class
That is surprisingly hard
I’m not doing very well in it
And will get a poor retort card
Thursday, March 30, 2023
By Kevin Ahern
High Rider
A little rose
Desired a hike
So went outside
And petaled a bike

Playing With Fire
A husband of 30 years
Just got burned to ashes
He said his wife’s hot
But only in flashes
Friday, March 31, 2023