By Kevin Ahern
SATISFACTION GUARANTEED The podium maker Knows it all too well Someone is gonna stand behind Everything he sells
— Thursday, Feb. 1, 2024
By Kevin Ahern
HUSH HUSH A Starbucks barista Working in Queens Let out corporate secrets By spilling the beans
— Friday, Feb. 2, 2024
By Kevin Ahern
PUNCTUATED REMARK Yes, indeed I’m at it again I’ve colonized the moon M:O:O:N
— Saturday, Feb. 3, 2024
By Kevin Ahern
MAKING BIG DIFFERENCES Teachers get paid Paltry sums But for almost every one of them Outcomes are greater than incomes
— Tuesday, Feb. 6, 2024
By Kevin Ahern
SEE NO EVIL I’m kind of non-committal I think So I got a tattoo With invisible ink
— Wednesday, Feb. 7, 2024
By Kevin Ahern
TAKE THIS TWO WAYS I might look like I’m aging But that’s not exactly right I’m just getting Closer to the light
— Thursday, Feb. 8, 2024
By Kevin Ahern
NEVER ENDING It seems like this plane will never land And I’ll be here all night I guess that's what I get for booking A non-stop flight
— Friday, Feb. 9, 2024
By Kevin Ahern
COZY My bed was so delicious today It never felt this great I didn’t oversleep today I overate
— Saturday, Feb. 10, 2024
By Kevin Ahern
SLAPSTICK That old movie comic Who is prone to prattle Recalls that pie fights Were custardy battles
— Tuesday, Feb. 13, 2024
By Kevin Ahern
STEP IT UP When the elevator Was getting repairs I asked how to go up And got nothing but stairs
— Wednesday, Feb. 14, 2024
By Kevin Ahern
MEASURING UP As far as units go It has been decreed There are 100 centipedes In a dollarpede
— Thursday, Feb. 15, 2024
By Kevin Ahern
DOUBLE MEANING Both a warning And a description fair Regarding honeycombs Bee-ware
— Friday, Feb. 16, 2024
By Kevin Ahern
CLUED IN In the game of Clue This murderer is my target Colonel Mustard's dog With Grey Poupon the carpet
— Saturday, Feb. 17, 2024
By Kevin Ahern
UNSPOKEN Regarding my flat stomach I don't wanna get violent But be aware The 'l' is silent
— Tuesday, Feb. 20, 2024
By Kevin Ahern
NICKEL AND DIME This message goes out To all reporters Very small pockets Make for close quarters
— Wednesday, Feb. 21, 2024
By Kevin Ahern
DARK SIDE OF THE MOON A word about fans Of Pink Floyd all They do not die They just hit The Wall
— Wednesday, Feb. 21, 2024
By Kevin Ahern
SHOW OFF He shows concern about aging In everything he does Trying to prove he's as good As he never was
— Friday, Feb. 23, 2024
By Kevin Ahern
ON PURRPOSE At the cat rescue center I give the kitties showers But I don't do it much anymore They reduced meowers
— Saturday, Feb. 24, 2024
By Kevin Ahern
PUT THIS ON IT I burned myself quite badly And really hoped to mend So I saw my dermatologist Who said, "Aloe my friend"
— Tuesday, Feb. 27, 2024
By Kevin Ahern
MIND GAMES A new bestseller Has a strategy apt "Psychiatry for Dummies" Comes shrink-wrapped
— Wednesday, Feb. 28, 2024
By Kevin Ahern
SECRET AGENT MAN He said he's "The Man From Uncle" And got my family buzzin' Til everybody realized He simply is my cousin