By Kevin Ahern
BUY EXTENSION The new electric Honda Is better than a Ford You'll find it will not work for you Unless you buy Accord
— Tuesday, April 2, 2024
By Kevin Ahern
TALK, TALK, TALK
My dictaphone is full again
I don't know how I do it
Perhaps too small capacity
Or I'm reading too much into it
— Wednesday, April 3, 2024
By Kevin Ahern
ON THE RUN
The telegraph company lacked a character
No way I could ignore it
Twas then and there that I decided
To make a dash for it
— Thursday, April 4, 2024
By Kevin Ahern
CAN'T REMEMBER
They cleaned the junk yard up last week
A visual correction
And now I think it's safe to say
They have no wreck collection
— Friday, April 5, 2024
By Kevin Ahern
NOT FOR PERCHASE
The fish store got robbed
And after much urging
The police began
A bunch of sole searching
— Saturday, April 5, 2024
By Kevin Ahern
TIME OFF
My luggage has personality
So I try to give it space
And every time it says it's tired
I rest my case
— Tuesday, April 9, 2024
By Kevin Ahern
BANG, BANG
I blasted a fish in stockings
My gun? A single barrel
Some people said I shouldn't be
Shooting fish in apparel
— Wednesday, April 10, 2024
By Kevin Ahern
ALL TRESSED UP
I hope you like my hairpiece
I got it on sale today
It really was a bargain
Such a small price toupee
— Thursday, April 11, 2024
By Kevin Ahern
WARM FRONT
My brand new book's just been released
I hope somebody buys it
The critics said it left them cold
Perhaps I should summerize it
— Friday, April 12, 2024
By Kevin Ahern
NO TALK SHOW
The piano convention
Could not have been weaker
Because it lost
Its key note speaker
— Saturday, April 13, 2024
By Kevin Ahern
HERBAL DELIGHT
I went on an all herb diet
It's a real favorite of mine
My stomach liked it a bit too much
Now it's a waist of thyme
— Tuesday, April 16, 2024
By Kevin Ahern
AND THE BEAT GOES ON
The heart surgeon told him
To be careful with eating
And to take care of his aorta
It's taking a beating
— Wednesday, April 17, 2024
By Kevin Ahern
A FUNNY THING HAPPENED ...
The Romans met but once per week
Without fanfare or decorum
No need to meet more frequently
That was just enough forum
— Thursday, April 18, 2024
By Kevin Ahern
ENDLESS LOOP
Oh boy, how I miss
The good ole days
When we talked about how
We missed the good ole days
— Friday, April 19, 2024
By Kevin Ahern
DOUBLED OVER
Writing these verses has given me
A wonderful surprise
Just in the last year of doing them
My audience has doubled in sighs
— Saturday, April 20, 2024
By Kevin Ahern
NO STRINGS ATTACHED
I went to buy a kite today
But that was a mistake
A sign inside their window said,
“Closed For String Break”
— Tuesday, April 23, 2024
By Kevin Ahern
SHOCK TREATMENT
I loaded fabric softener
Into my washer automatic
I think it worked and now I am
Totally ex-static
— Wednesday, April 24, 2024
By Kevin Ahern
STICK TO IT
Mr. Westinghouse
Was really great
Cuz he was the first
Refrigerator magnate
— Thursday, April 25, 2024
By Kevin Ahern
SHOCKING
The diversity head of our college
Is known most everywhere
Perhaps it’s because of his title
They call him the Eclectic Chair
— Friday, April 26, 2024
By Kevin Ahern
CRITICAL CONDITION
His ignorance now is in danger
Mortally wounded, badly bleeding
All because he insisted
On doing a bunch of reading
— Saturday, April 27, 2024
By Kevin Ahern
MIXED MESSAGES
Teenage inconsistencies
Produce confusing results
Some of them act like babies
If you don’t treat them like adults