By Kevin Ahern
IN THE POUCH
The kangaroos in the fairy tale
That brought us so much laughter
Got married and had a kid so they’ll
Live hoppily ever after
— Tuesday, March 3, 2026
By Kevin Ahern
SPEECH, SPEECH
A friend of mine to mime school went
‘Twas just around the bend
He saw the light and I lament
Never hearing from him again
— Wednesday, March 4, 2026
By Kevin Ahern
AT EXCLAMATION POINT
The grammarian who’s a wonderful gent
Found a lady he’d prefer
So with a beer in hand he went
And prepositioned her
— Thursday, March 5, 2026
By Kevin Ahern
FOUNDATION OF KNOWLEDGE
My cosmetology final
I missed, I must confess
Thank goodness they’ll let me
Take a make-up test
— Friday, March 6, 2026
By Kevin Ahern
TAKEN FOR GRANITE
The Geology department
No one knocks
For calling themselves
The school of hard rocks
— Saturday, March 7, 2026
By Kevin Ahern
FALLING OUT
Here is an observation
That no one will dispute
Every skydiving duo
Requires a pair o’ chutes
— Tuesday, March 10, 2026
By Kevin Ahern
ONE LINERS
Comedians come from companies
Each day a batch is shipped
But manufacturers won’t let them out
Unless they’re fully quipped
— Wednesday, March 11, 2026
By Kevin Ahern
RAM BUNCTIOUS
A group of sheep slid down a hill
It made me laugh inside
Because I realized it was
A very big lambslide
— Thursday, March 12, 2026
By Kevin Ahern
SNOTTY REMARK
Each spring my allergies erupt
I wish I had amnesia
The sneezing is so bad I feel
That I’m in pollenesia
— Friday, March 13, 2026
By Kevin Ahern
DOG PADDLE
Your springer spaniel likes to swim
In water, what a joy!
I guess his floating’s why you say
“He’s a good buoy!”
— Saturday, March 14, 2026
By Kevin Ahern
REVOLTING
There are several ways to charge a car
A plug-in is not very hard
A solar panel is the slowest
But the worst is a Visa card
— Tuesday, March 17, 2026
By Kevin Ahern
QUIET EARP
A silent cowboy movie’s out
It’s all that I could want
They titled it quite cleverly
“All’s Quiet on the Western Front”
— Wednesday, March 18, 2026
By Kevin Ahern
TV OR NOT TV
My favorite TV show was MAS*H
It certainly was prime
I used to turn it on so I could
Watch it Alda time
— Thursday, March 19, 2026
By Kevin Ahern
BAD CHEMISTRY
My doctor said my health is bad
And it is all my fault
When she said to watch my sodium
I took it with a grain of salt
— Friday, March 20, 2026
By Kevin Ahern
ON A BLENDER
The artist of that painting
Declares that he’s inclined
To like the color purple
More than red and blue combined
— Saturday, March 21, 2026
By Kevin Ahern
CAT NIPPED
The leopard that escaped today
Police have just now caught it
Thanks to a lady who phoned to say
The animal she had spotted
— Tuesday, March 24, 2026
By Kevin Ahern
SHOCKING DEVELOPMENT
My neighbor really didn’t like
My electric fence one bit
In fact, I think it could be said
That he is dead against it
— Wednesday, March 25, 2026
By Kevin Ahern
NUNS OF THE ABOVE
A trio of nuns are lawyers
And the public is in awe
With the name they gave their practice
The Three Sisters in Law
— Thursday, March 26, 2026
By Kevin Ahern
ROLE PLAYING
The play audition accident
Broke my arm. I was aghast
I had a couple options
And both involved a cast
— Friday, March 27, 2026
By Kevin Ahern
SASK WATCHING
If Bigfoot should attack you
Just use some common sense
Because a camera always is
Your best line of defense
— Saturday, March 28, 2026
By Kevin Ahern
PAPERBACK RIDER
A bookworm here
Could not resist
Putting “Waiting for Godot”
On her Beckett list