By Kevin Ahern
GETTING EVEN
In buying non-alcoholic beer
There’s irony for thee
If you head to your favorite grocery store
Equipped with a fake ID
— Tuesday, July 1, 2025
By Kevin Ahern
VALUE JUDGMENT
Psychopaths are hard
To put in a category
But it’s safe to say
They see amoral in a story
— Wednesday, July 2, 2025
By Kevin Ahern
RUBBED THE WRONG WAY
My masseuse called last night
While I was fast asleep
But to my disappointment
Didn’t leave a massage after the beep
— Thursday, July 3, 2025
By Kevin Ahern
I DISPUTE THAT
One of very best
Places to haunt
If you’re seeking an argument
Is a family restaurant
— Saturday, July 5, 2025
By Kevin Ahern
MONEY FUNNY
Of my poverty
There is no sense
Cuz I'm too poor
To make jokes at my own expense
— Tuesday, July 8, 2025
By Kevin Ahern
DECISION
To get hair permed or dyed
On some occasions
Is just a do or dye
Situation
— Wednesday, July 9, 2025
By Kevin Ahern
HARD BOILED
Aleutian chickens
Don’t get to choose
They all have to live
In eggloos
— Thursday, July 10, 2025
By Kevin Ahern
WRECK OF AGES
In my youth, I couldn’t know everything
But being young, everything I knew
What I thought I knew I didn’t
And now I know that’s true
— Friday, July 11, 2025
By Kevin Ahern
DOING THE MATH
The math of the issue
Is rather sublime
When comedy equals
Tragedy plus time
— Saturday, July 12, 2025
By Kevin Ahern
IN A NAME
A fly’s a fly
Because it flies
That moniker stands
Until it lands
— Tuesday, July 15, 2025
By Kevin Ahern
SAVINGS GRACE
A financial planner I know
Expressed the principle best
You’re going to lay a lot of eggs
So it’s best to have a nest
— Wednesday, July 16, 2025
By Kevin Ahern
DRAWN OUT
My career as an artist
Is in the tank
I was working on a bullet
But drew a blank
— Thursday, July 17, 2025
By Kevin Ahern
BUMPS IN THE WAY
Flat earthers really need to do
A little bit more accountin’
For example, how can the Earth be flat
If it has mountains?
— Friday, July 18, 2025
By Kevin Ahern
WEE OUI
The French are very fond
Of beautiful forests, oh yeah!
Because they’re good at providing
Je ne sequoia
— Saturday, July 19, 2025
By Kevin Ahern
SOLO CONTENDERE
When I tripped onto the pavement
It felt like an assault
But the judge overseeing the lawsuit
Said it was my dumb asphalt
— Tuesday, July 22, 2025
By Kevin Ahern
MY FEAR, LADY
The belt shortage
In England’s largest town
Means there soon will be
London britches falling down
— Wednesday, July 23, 2025
By Kevin Ahern
THE NOSE KNOWS
I sensed a fish was near me
In detection I excelled
But it was all too easy
Because it smelt
— Thursday, July 24, 2025
By Kevin Ahern
MILKING IT
My cat doesn’t like to read at night
Neither Keats nor Twain nor Chaucer
The only food for thought it gets
Is drinking from a saucer
— Friday, July 25, 2025
By Kevin Ahern
TRUE BREW
Jumping into a Nescafe vat
Wasn’t a very smart stunt
Because the guy who did it
Died in an instant
— Saturday, July 26, 2025
By Kevin Ahern
VENOUS ENVY
Moving blood
Is quiet, mostly
But you can hear it
If you listen varicosely
— Tuesday, July 29, 2025
By Kevin Ahern
PEACEFUL UNEASY FEELING
Seasickness is something
That nobody craves
When it comes at you
In waves
— Wednesday, July 30, 2025
By Kevin Ahern
HOLD THE SPIRITS
Speaking to spirits
Long abhorred
Causes me to get
Ouija bored